Los Angelese Pierce College Family Discussion

Why would you want to, or not want to be a parent?

What does it mean to you to be a parent? 

Do you believe there is a difference between being a father and a dad, or a mother and a mom?

Given that there are an abundance of children without parents, have you considered adopting?

Do you think some people should not be allowed to have children? 

Do you perceive there to be a relationship between delinquent behavior and parental guidance? If so, to what extent do you think parents are to blame for children’s misconduct?

Danica Diamos

1. I would like to be a parent, because at the end of the day, even with all the struggle a parent goes through in every stage of the child’s life, the costs are all worth it, as the end result reaps a big reward that is both common and unique among parents at the same time (Ch. 11, p. 322). Once you get older, if done right, you are guaranteed to have company, an extended family, and extra pair of hands to help out in any way. Some may argue that “not every child/parent has this experience, etc, etc, etc.” But I believe those who are successful in parenting didn’t become successful because of perfection, but that they took a leap of faith and trusted that whatever may happen, that they will walk through it, no matter what. The parents who never gave up. The parents who see outside of themselves. The parents who have a heart of gold. Those are the types of families that become successful, and those are the types of people who get the best rewards out of life. Struggles and sacrifices humble you, and I respect that greatly.

2. To be a parent means to be an active leader in your children’s lives. Not only do you guide them with discipline, but also support them with love and affection. Having an authoritative parenting style accomplishes the best of both worlds. (Ch.11, p. 328). To be a parent, you must not be a control freak to your child, but you must not give too much undeserved praise or rewards either. Within my own family, I have seen the results of both types of parents, and neither result is pretty. A parent means to be a guide and a leader, not a control freak or an enabling best friend.

3. Normally, not really, because I always saw those terms as interchangeable. But if I were to differentiate the two, I would say that the terms “father and mother” are implied to have more respect rather than the more casual “mom and dad”. With that being said, maybe your mother or father could be the one who truly raised and knows you well, whereas a mom or dad is just there because you need to refer to a couple from which you came from. This could apply to people who are adopted; they may see their adopted parents more as their real parents than they do their biological parents (if the biological parents are still alive). Some people may switch the two terms instead and that’s reasonable as well.

4. I have considered adopting sometimes; my aunt adopted my cousin and she’s a really nice addition to the family. It’s very noble to save a child from poor conditions. For now, I just haven’t felt it to be my “calling”or anything since I haven’t thought about it much. But if the opportunity comes and I am able to take it, for sure, I will. (Ch.11, p. 318).

5. I wouldn’t say “allowed” is the right term; I would prefer to say they aren’t “recommended” to have such huge responsibilities until they get their inner problems, traumas, or addictions fixed. I have heard stories of miracles happening, many of them being people who turned their lives around for the better, permanently. Everyone is capable of doing it, but not everyone may have the right resources at the right time. All the good things in life require great responsibility, and that includes children. And although I want everyone to experience blessings in life, sometimes having a blessing when you aren’t willing to work for it is detrimental for all parties. This is the case for authoritarian, uninvolved, or even permissive parents (Ch.11, p. 328). Authoritarians may have a pride/ego issue that they need to fix in order to properly give the child the emotional support they need. Permissive parents need to develop tough skin themselves so they can enact discipline unto their children. Uninvolved parents need to stop being selfish in order to be present in their children’s lives. These are all opportunities to examine your inner conscience and be able to fix them in order to properly care for a child. Doesn’t even need to be perfect, but all negative aspects of a parent’s life need to be cleared before raising someone else.

6. Yes, I believe most if not all of delinquent behavior is linked to poor parental guidance. Within my own family, I have already mentioned that parents who are authoritarian and permissive did not result in happy children. The ones raised under authoritarians were anxious, depressed, or felt anger towards their parents. They turned away from the values their parents taught. On the other side, the kids raised with permissive parents are rude and disrespectful without even knowing it. They are also filled with much vanity, and I’ve even heard that they commonly use emotional tactics to take advantage of people. (Ch. 11, p. 328). Criminal cases sometimes also are explained by poor parenting, one example being the infamous Pablo Escobar, a drug lord in Colombia. In the Netflix thriller series about him, there is a scene where his mother tells him, “whether you do something bad or something good, make sure you do it well.” Regardless of whether this actually happened in real life or not, it still explains that because the mother allowed him to also do bad things, she was fine with it, as long as he “did it well.” There are also so many anecdotal testimonies I have heard from other people saying that when their father or their mother (usually their father) was absent in their life, that was the time that they would do bad things. Therefore, in many of these cases, I would say that 99.9% of times, it is the parents’ faults for letting this happen to their child. The only time when it is not the parent’s fault is when the child has some sort of diagnosed psychosis that is outside the parent’s control. But even then, it is the parent’s responsibility to get them treatment as soon as possible so that they don’t act aggressively.