Keiser University Psychology Forgiveness Conflict Discussion

How is forgiveness both a process and a decision? How does a person decide to forgive? How has forgiveness or lack of forgiveness impacted your life? What are some of the important things you learned about forgiveness and how to apply it to your own life? Please read chapter 10 of your text and do research in some other sources prior to submitting this post

.Response to two peers

Peers1

Suppose someone or a group has wronged you. In that case, forgiveness is often defined as making a conscious, intentional choice to release sentiments of hatred or revenge against that person or organization, regardless of whether that person or group deserves your forgiveness. Knowing what forgiveness is not, on the other hand, is just as vital as understanding what forgiveness is. I think about who I want to be in the world and the treatment I want to experience from others (Hocker et al., 2022). Forgiveness experts and teachers are clear that when you forgive someone, you do not minimize or minimize the gravity of the wrong that has been perpetrated against you. Forgiveness does not imply forgetting, nor does it mean accepting or excusing wrongdoing or violations of the law. Although forgiveness might aid in the restoration of a broken relationship, it does not compel you to reconcile with the person who has wronged you or remove them from legal responsibility. When you forgive, you choose not to be governed by unpleasant feelings. If forgiveness could completely erase all ill will, everyone would do it freely and without hesitation. We may still experience the anguish even after we have forgiven the individual, and this is a truth that we must accept. We are, however, commanded not to allow our wounded feelings to drive someone from our life or for them to lash out. When you choose to forgive someone, you will enable them to recover your trust. When someone commits a transgression against us, it undermines our sense of trust and respect for them. Trust grows when emotional expression is perceived as genuine and not simply strategic (Hocker et al., 2022). Trust is not instantly restored when forgiveness has been expressed. It does, however, provide the individual with a means of regaining control. Setting limits and taking responsibility are all part of forgiveness. The purpose of boundaries and accountability is to provide grace rather than punishment. In essence, forgiving opens the door to the possibility of reconciliation. Yes, it takes two to make a relationship work.

Peers 2

This week we talk about forgiveness. “Forgiveness is the ongoing act of an indiviual to restore the moral standing of someone who has wronged them by granting interpersonal clemency to that person (Hocker, et. al., 2022, p. 329).” There is both a process and a decision to forgive someone. Depending on what was done to someone is what process and decision it will take to get to an outcome of forgiveness. I have personally been put in many situations where I had to make the choice to forgive or to not forgive and cut my ties. Never is it easy to do something along those lines.But when it is becoming more damageing than healthy thats when you know it is only time to forgive for yourself tp let go of that hurt or anger but dont forgive to have that person continue to be in your life with you. At one point in my life i held onto alot of anger due to the lack of forgiveness. I was angery at the world. So many people have done wrong to me and I just couldnt understand it. One day I just let go of the anger and said to myself ” you are the only one who allowing this to effect you, that other person is just going about their life with not a care in the world” so I decided to forgive but to keep myself detached to those who did me in wrong ways. I forgave for myself. To be at peace with myself. The last few years I have coped with forgiveness by just saying this is not my burden to carry. I did not do someone wrong but they did me wrong and that is their burden to carry. I am only in control of my peace and letting go of the sorries i will never recieve and just forgive for me was the best thing I ever did for myself. I live a more peaceful happier life and just keep doing right by those who do right by me and cut off those who do wrong by me. Always forgive even when they are not sorry. Its healthier for you and your mindset is the advice I give to everyone who struggles with forgiveness.